Everyone commits kitchen crimes. They will be forgiven as long as you stay in a sunny mood — and capitalize on learning a lesson from your mistakes, assures Paula Deen, the owner of two restaurants, author of seven books and host of two cooking shows on the Food Network. “Everyone who’s ever been hired in my kitchen has had something to teach me,” says Paula. For instance: “My staff taught me years ago how good sour cream can be in macaroni and cheese.”

For years, Paula used to fuss if family members didn’t cube potatoes to the exact size she wanted or slice vegetables as she thought best. Eventually, it dawned on her that persnickety perfectionism was a turnoff: Family dinners should be a source of positive feelings that cement the bonds of love, not referendums on each member’s ability to anticipate the chef’s exacting specifications.

“You gotta keep it fun in the kitchen!” exclaims Paula. The more fun the kitchen, the more likely it is that you will be able to inveigle someone else into chopping onions. (Michael and Paula share dishes, but also have a housekeeper.) “People don’t mind being in a place that’s fun! I can be so particular about the way I want things, but I’m really tryin’ to do better on that,” Paula confesses. “There’s more than one way to skin a cat and my way is not the only way.”

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